


Bleeding Hearts

by NekoRuka



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 12:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18249443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoRuka/pseuds/NekoRuka
Summary: Kai knows he isn't the one.





	Bleeding Hearts

Kai knows he isn't the one. He might be known for forgetting and losing his things - but he is not an idiot and he isn't blind either.

He sees how the raven looks at Uruha, so lovingly, hanging on to his every word. He has noticed that Aoi searches for the other guitarist during lives when he's off doing fanservice with his other bandmates and Aoi himself is left behind. It also seems that he is the only one who thinks that it's a sign how Aoi finds a way to mention or talk about Uruha at almost every interview.

He would be happy if Uruha reciprocated his feelings at least. It would hurt of course; but when you truly love someone you want them to be happy, even if that means that they find that happiness with someone other than you. However, Uruha treats the rhythm guitarist like a brother, as he does with the other band members. And unfortunately, he's completely oblivious; he doesn't know that every time he asks Aoi to chill and play with him, every time he beams at him, every time he gives him a compliment, he gives Aoi hope that maybe one day...

And then there are times when, once again unwittingly, he crashes those hopes and leaves the raven aching and doubting himself. Times when he turns down offers to hang out, when he doesn't talk to him that much, when he is cold towards him, when he doesn't approach him or doesn't notice Aoi's own advances during a live.

These are the times Aoi comes to Kai.

It all started after a party. Aoi always got emotional when he was drunk and that time was no exception. Kai was surprisingly quite drunk himself, which is why he didn't realise when or how Aoi went from whining about all the fanservice Uruha does with Ruki to pressing his lips against the drummer's. If he had been sober he would have handled the situation differently; but he wasn't and Aoi was so damn irresistible, so demanding. And so, they ended up in bed.

Aoi had already left by the time the drummer woke up and he never talked about what had happened between them. Kai chose to respect that, crashing his own stupid dreams that maybe the raven would feel differently about him after what they had done. It had been a mistake, given their inebriated state, but that didn't mean that it hadn't been the most wonderful thing for Kai.

He had expected it to be a one-time thing - except Aoi came to him again and again, hurt but not drunk. The drummer was also sober every time and yet he did nothing to stop it, never said that they shouldn't. Because he wanted this even though Aoi had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. And he was afraid of what might happen if he didn't give the raven what he wanted - he'd probably turn to someone else and be cold towards Kai himself.

It was never sweet and slow between them. Aoi didn't even let him look at his face as they were fucking, preferring to be taken from behind - probably so that it would be easier for him to imagine that it was a certain honey blond pounding into him. And Kai went along with it, not saying anything even the times Uruha's name escaped Aoi's lips as he came.

The band leader takes it all, goes along with it, follows Aoi deeper and deeper into the abyss. He knows that he will only end up with his heart in pieces sooner or later, and yet he doesn't put an end to this mess.

It's funny how life moves in terrible circles, how ironic it can be. It all started after a party and ends during another one.

Kai simply wants to make sure that Aoi is okay, that he's not driving himself home in a drunken state, wants to make sure that Uruha hasn't drunk too much. Little did he know that he would find both of his bandmates at the rooftop.

He doesn't know if Aoi is talking about something insignificant or if he's finally letting all his feelings out in the open. He doesn't know how Uruha feels, whether he does what he does just to indulge the other guitarist this one time or if it's more than that.

All that Kai knows is that his heart shatters as Uruha grabs the slightly shorter raven-haired man and kisses him. Aoi holds on to him with a need, a desire, that he never displayed (and never could) when he was with the drummer.

He knows that he should have prepared himself for this. He was painfully aware, right from the start, that what they had was not real. Aoi's body was his for a while but his heart has always belonged to Uruha.

The sight before him should make him happy. Because either Aoi will finally be together with his fellow guitarist or, at least, he's getting a breathtaking kiss from the man he loves after being rejected. And yet, he can hear his heart crack and feel his blood run cold in his veins.

Because, like Aoi used to be when he turned to Kai for comfort, he's in love with someone he can never have.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me hurting Kai again ;-;  
> I'm not sure how I feel about this one - but at least I managed to finish it unlike some drafts that have been sitting for a while 😅


End file.
